Anxiety Confession

Anxiety is an illness that I've finally admitted to.

Lately, I've had feelings of worthlessness and failure as I look back on what I've done so far and feel I've come up short. My only outlet is my poetry since everyone I try and speak to either lectures me or rejects or tells me that I'll get over it.

Well I know I'll get over it. I know it'll pass, but it's right now, right here, tearing me apart. Pain and torment and anger and fear. I'm not very outspoken about how I feel. In truth I  always thought this was weakness.

Maybe it is weakness to sob over familial rejection, on the glorious confirmed finding of my siblings  I obsessed over, they reject me for reasons I dont know. Family members ignore my reaching out for unexplained reasons as well.

Then again, maybe I'm over thinking....again. Anxiety is known to do that.

But if so, where do I go? I've never felt so lost.

Ah, but nothing chases out my doubt like when I focus on my daughter. She is my treasure, my reminder that even when I feel worthless and without purpose, the high calling of being her mom is my privilege.